Personnel update
Monday, September 16, 2024
This is inspired by receiving a "personnel update" when a friend was fired many years ago. It felt coldly impersonal for such a deeply personal event, so I imagined what it would be like if the same approach were taken to other deeply personal events.
Subject: Personnel Update
From: dad@family.com
To: son@family.com
CC: lawyer@lawfirm.comDear son,
As of 1:00 PM EST this afternoon, we decided to part ways with your mom. Your mom has been with our family for fourteen years. Unfortunately, over the last few months, there have been escalating problems with communication and with performance. She has failed to meet stated metrics.
In our family, we are committed to providing an environment where everyone can thrive. Your mother failed to meet those standards, and we have decided that it would be best for her to seek opportunities that are a better fit. We have thanked her for her contributions and wish her well.
If you have any questions or concerns, please reach out to our lawyer or to me directly.
Regards, Dad
Subject: Team Update
From: mom@family.com
To: daughter@family.comDear daughter,
As of 3:00 PM EST this afternoon, we have decided to part ways with Fido. Fido has been a loyal companion with our family for 14 months. Unfortunately, over the last three months, there have been escalating problems with behavior. There have been multiple incidents of Fido damaging the family's personal property while your father and I are at work. Further, the neighbors have complained of loud daytime barking and whining on multiple occasions.
In our family, we are committed to providing an environment with respect for each other and personal property. We have been working with Fido to improve these issues, but he has continued to whine during the daytime when we leave and chew up our furniture. We have decided that he is not a fit for our family. We thank him for his contributions, and wish him well in his future endeavors.
If you have any questions or concerns, please reach out to me or your father directly.
Regards, Mom
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